It’s here! The hockey is finally here! Tonight, on this most special of nights, we’ll see meaningful puck drops across North America for the first time since June, and I could not be happier. Thank you for clicking on this preview, and in doing so choosing to enjoy or learn about the best game you can name. All the teams are listed in a rough approximation from best to worst, because I will gladly court danger and embarrassment from any and all fanbases. The Good OnesTampa Bay Lightning Last Season: The Lightning are already good most of the time, but they were historically dominant last regular season. They earned the Presidents’ Trophy for the most points in the league, and with 62 wins they tied the 1996 Detroit Red Wings for the all-time season mark. This gang put on a show b…

Burnley manager Sean Dyche seems like the kind of guy who would munch on a big bowl of tree bark, rocks, and beetles for breakfast every morning and make a big show of it if for no other reason than to prove how much of a hardass he is. Thus it wasn’t too much of a stretch to believe a former teammate of his, Søren Andersen, who recently said Dyche used to eat worms at practice. Dyche has finally responded to these claims by denying Andersen’s accusation, clarifying that he doesn’t actually eat worms, he just likes to suck on them for laughs. Andersen appeared on the Danish podcast Fodboldministeriet last month, and during the conversation the topic of his old Bristol City teammate Dyche came up—specifically something about the Englishman’s trademark gravelly voice. Andersen…

We had a lot of ESPN-related coverage this year, because ESPN continues to be fertile ground for mockery. Here's everything we had to say about the monolithic sports network this year. The Mostly Sexless Sex Scandal That Shook ESPN A few hours after the 2009 Home Run Derby, Steve Phillips bought Brooke Hundley a drink. They were at the bar of St. Louis's Millenium Hotel, a block from Busch Stadium, where more than a dozen ESPN staffers had gathered after wrapping up another day's work during MLB's extended All-Star weekend. Hundley was a 22-year-old from Colorado making $10.96 an hour as an ESPN production assistant. Phillips was the former general manager of the Mets who'd spent the previous four years as a baseball analyst at ESPN. They'd met there in St.…

The end of the year is almost upon us, which means it's that time again. As we've done in the past, we want to give you, our dear readers, the opportunity to recognize this year's crop of sports persons who set themselves apart for their shenanigans off the field. We want you to suggest three nominees by leaving their names in the discussion below. Our esteemed Hall of Fame Committee will then spend countless hours debating the merits of those most worthy. Sometime around the Christmas holiday, we will then give you, our dear readers, the chance vote on which candidates deserve induction. Here's a list of past inductees. Feel free to use it as your guide: 2006
• Carl Monday
• Kyle Orton
• Clinton Portis
• Run You Stupid Fucking Dinosaur, Run
• Renee T…

Larry Johnson, most recently of the Washington Redskins and this misspelled jersey, has seen his once blossoming NFL career disappear. Now, a lawsuit regarding an inflection point along Johnson's precipitous fall from grace has disappeared too. Perhaps Johnson wants to know if his career can come back. The answer, say his knees, is no. Some of Johnson's malaise followed his 416-carry 2006 season, after which he was never the same player. But more of his problems resulted from Johnson's off-field exploits, which include four arrests for varying degrees of assault against women. Johnson's last arrest was in 2008—he was charged with non-aggravated assault for allegedly spitting a drink into a woman's face at a Kansas City nightclub. (Here's his bar tab fr…

data-mm-id=”_xon0vhv2b”>The Los Angeles Lakers have gotten off to a solid start this season. Depth issues notwithstanding, the LeBron James/Anthony Davis combo has been as lethal as expected, Kyle Kuzma seems to be rounding into form, and Danny Green has been outstanding. One rather unexpected development has been the play of Dwight Howard. The much-maligned former superstar is on his fifth team in four years, and it's been much longer than that since he resembled the dominant force he was in the earlier part of the decade. His decision to return to the Lakers, where his downhill slide began all the way back in 2012, was a bit surprising, but given AD's injury history and the fact that Howard could be signed for cheap, the fit made sense, especially once DeMarcus Cousins went…

data-mm-id=”_orlrx0e67″>LeBron James took to center court before the Los Angeles Lakers' first game since Kobe Bryant's death. He honored Bryant and his legacy with an unscripted speech and vowed not to forget the all-time great. Check out the speech below, it truly was exceptional:"Tonight we celebrate the kid that came here at 18, retired at 38 and became probably the best dad we've seen over the last three years.” pic.twitter.com/0sS7e91cuz— Los Angeles Lakers (@Lakers) February 1, 2020Time and again, LeBron James has risen to the big moments in his life. He did that again Friday night. That was outstanding. If there was anyone who could help carry the Lakers through this incredibly difficult time, it's James. He has such a great sense of the moment and …

data-mm-id=”_4nv1yphwk”>MLB analyst and former big league general manager Jim Bowden took to Twitter on Monday and declared San Diego Padres general manager A.J. Preller a "rock star" for what he pulled off over the past few days. It's hard to argue with that characterization. Preller and the Padres spent the last four-plus years carefully stockpiling young talent to form baseball's top farm system. Over the last few days he dealt from the tremendous depth he built to fundamentally remake the Padres in stunning fashion with several enormous deals. The crazy part? Preller and the Padres didn't surrender any of their top four prospects and still likely possess a top-five system. The Padres landed the top catcher (Austin Nola), and starting pitcher (Mike Clevinger…

data-mm-id=”_hwzgprsw0″>Carmelo Anthony had Portland Trail Blazers teammate Damian Lillard on his podcast/YouTube show What's in Your Glass? Monday night and things got interesting. The duo were on from separate rooms as Anthony interviewed Lillard about his life, but things took a turn when the topic shifted to Skip Bayless.On Monday morning, Bayless tweeted the following:I’m still not buying “Dame Time” and apparently the Clippers aren’t either. @undisputed. 9:30 AM-Noon ET. FS1.— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) August 10, 2020Lillard responded a few hours later:I have never been buying nothing about you fam. You a joke. And after our private convo full of back pedaling you will never have my respect ? https://t.co/do0yxFgUju— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) August 10…

data-mm-id=”_nuigjitdd”>James Harden wants off the Houston Rockets and is reportedly amenable to joining the Philadelphia 76ers. The Sixers are now run by Daryl Morey, the man who constructed a team around Harden in Houston. A trade between the two sides makes sense, especially if the 76ers send Ben Simmons in the other direction. The Rockets and Harden aren't going to work this thing out. He wants out of town badly. The team should be searching for deals that land a good player and a good chunk of draft compensation. Philadelphia can offer both. Harden is 31 but is among the NBA's top five players, and he's easily the league's best offensive weapon. He's led the NBA in scoring in each of the past three seasons and has been First Team All-NBA six times overall …